I am not inclined to laugh as I am to snicker from mean-spiritedness mild amusement, but I am laughing outloud at Jezebel.Com posting excerpts from the very Miami Vice-esque 1986 International Male Catalog. Hmm, now I know where American Apparel must get half its inspiration for its smutty advertisements.

In the fabulous dystopian year that will be 2025, whatever the oil barrel price, I shall enjoy heckling all my peers with their sagging, bagging cosmetic implants that require yearly maintenance that shall evaporate their pitiful retirement accounts if such things exist with either outrageous capitalism amok or government socialism running America.

American Apparel redubs it Mineral Wash but everyone with vague, repressed memories of the late 80s and early 90s will recall it as Acid Wash or Stone Wash. The company even elaborates on the style with simple elegance: "Due to the unique Acid Wash treatment it is typical to see pattern differences as well as shade differences between every style. ( Read more... )

I just don't like 'em, them Jonas Brothers. They get all gussied up like their Duran Duran II. But they ain't no Simon Le Bon or Andy Taylor; they're just synth pop idols with colored jeans like...like New Kids!? Nah, New Kids never wore 'em, but Donnie did have a ducktale, am I right? Oh yeah, I'm soooo right because Sister knows her NKOTB still. ( Read more... )

It was not long ago that my brain tuned out all the election humbug about how the candidates are branding themselves, therefore my only concern is their fashion sense. To me, not one candidate seems to have one iota of wardrobe daring even though they all spew something about being different from whoever is their nemesis that week. Really, if these ( Read more... )

World's Worst Swim Trunks Ad: To Be Work Safe or Not?

I have been occupied with the realm of nonfanfiction writing, so my thoughts dwell on the boring details of the writing process. My primary problem is my inclination with writing from the view of introverted personalities who nitpick everything. Truly, I need to acclimate myself to integrating activity beyond biased daydreamers who do not ( Read more... )

My inner fashionista screams, "Hey, just because it was -1F a few days ago does not mean that when it's 30F that you're allowed to sweatshirts with cut-off sleeves [is this Flashdance?] and/or wear slip-on shoes without socks [you're not on a yacht]."

My television habits have lapsed into watching the version of reality portrayed by E! in which the majority of the Southern California female populace appears to be blondes who have experienced cosmetic enhancement. I know this channel is presenting this small segment of society who entertain outsiders with vagueness and vainness, but it is adding ( Read more... )

Dear Bottle Blonde, false eyelashes the color of coal do not flatter your false hair color, especially if those eyelash extensions are over two centimeters long as if your are from Fairyland. I recommend reducing yourself to the use of light mascara as to not force observers like me to preoccupy her mind about how cartoonish your eyelashes look. ( Read more... )